Women Are Revealing The Exact Moment They Realized Their Partner Didn't Care About Them (2024)

This post contains mentions of assault.

When you're in a relationship with someone, it's pretty easy to assume they care deeply about you. Unfortunately, that's not always the case for some couples. When Reddit user u/Street_Salt_1973 asked the r/AskWomen community: "When did you realize your partner didn't really care about you?" over a thousand women replied with their own stories. Here's what a few of them had to say below:

1. "He cried to me about emotional issues sometimes and I always held him and talked him through it. Eventually, I needed the same support but instead, he got mad and started yelling at and blaming me, and told me, 'One of us has to be the strong one, I can't have a partner who falls apart like this. I need someone strong.'"

2. "When he said I don’t enjoy giving you org*sms because then you don’t want to have sex for a few days after that. Or maybe when he told me we never went on a honeymoon because he knew he wasn’t going to get any sex."

—u/ohisforodd

3. "When he critiqued how I gave birth."

4. "I was doing the dishes and accidentally cut my finger pretty badly on a knife. My now-ex said, 'I would get you a Band-Aid but I don't know where they are.' Like keeping them in the bathroom medicine cabinet for the past several years had been my strategy of hiding them from him somehow. I grabbed a paper towel to avoid getting blood everywhere while I ran to the bathroom to get a Band-Aid. I had to finish doing the dishes one-handed. The worst part is he identified that the correct answer was to help but chose to make a passive-aggressive statement instead to save himself a walk to the bathroom. Real nice."

—u/thalia676

5. "He wanted to invite his family to watch football at our place (because their TV wasn't working), I told him that I'm in pain and I really don't have the energy to have people over. Then he told me that he will just tell them our TV isn't working either. I asked him why he would lie, and he said: 'Well, you're always in pain, who would even believe that?' I have adenomyosis."

6. "When the 'your match is about to expire' notification popped up while he was showing me TikToks."

—u/crinmar10

7. "During a fight, I begged him to use kind words. No verbal abuse, just stay quiet and listen to respond, so we can have a real conversation. He tells me, 'That's not who I am, I'm not changing for you.' I don't know why it took so long for me to realize, but he just doesn't give a sh*t about me. I realized he would continue doing that as long as I am around to take it."

8. "When I had to have an emergency procedure and instead of him driving me, I had to take the train because it was too early for him to bring me. I had no driver's license. A week later, he helped his family at 7 a.m. to move. Priority noted."

—u/WizardLizart

9. "I was physically assaulted at work. When I told him about it, I expected him to be horrified, protective, or at least not happy about it. Instead, he looked bored. He implied that I get a bit mouthy so maybe I pissed off the wrong guy. I got the ick so fast that there was no turning back."

—u/cuddlymammoth

10. "When I explained that I'd been feeling depressed because playing music is my outlet and I'd been really missing it. I bought a keyboard for the extra bedroom, which he didn't notice for two-plus months. When he did notice, he told me to get rid of it because he doesn't want 'extra junk' in his house. I only played with headphones and usually when he wasn't home but he told me if the keyboard didn't go, I had to. So I took the keyboard and left."

11. "When I fell down the stairs at my boyfriend's house and I was screaming in pain because I broke my ankle and he got mad at me because he had to drive me to the hospital. He later told me he got angry because he wanted to play Elden Ring."

—u/Street_Salt_1973

12. "So many small things that I justified as differences in communication. The final realization was when I tried talking about my complicated relationship with my father and he started getting angry at me for not understanding what fathers go through and general explanation of why life sucks for men. Like bro, are you gaslighting me about my own relationship with my dad? The bulb just went on that he doesn't care enough to understand my experiences. We broke up within the next two weeks."

—u/sm_aztec

13. "We were out and he wanted to grab some street food. I didn't have money on me so I just got nothing. He didn't offer. I sat next to him watching him eat. It was small, and yes, I could've said something — but it was just one of many occasions that made me understand that he doesn't care about me the same way I care about him after two damn years."

14. "When I realized that I was always needing to adjust to his schedules and the relationship immediately fell apart when I stopped putting in the effort."

—u/paperhoarder2021

15. "I'd come down with the horrible flu. He convinced me to come over to his place by saying, 'Let me take care of you, you shouldn’t be suffering alone.' I wanted to just stay in my own bed and ride it out but he kept at it and I thought he was just trying to be a caring boyfriend. When I got to his place, he just pestered me for sex the whole time and then guilt-tripped me when I said I didn’t want to because I was feeling so rough. He said, 'You mean sex with me would make you feel worse/wouldn’t make you feel happier? Right. I got it, THANKS.' I wish I’d dumped his ass right then but I was young and deep into a sunken cost fallacy."

—u/Rasberryblush

16. "I had to drive a couple of hours to say goodbye to my dying grandpa in the hospital. On my way back home, I stopped at Chipotle for dinner. My then-boyfriend’s first reaction when he saw me — rather than comforting me because I’d just visited my grandpa for the last time — was to get angry that I didn’t get him a burrito."

17. "When he wouldn’t go get me food after I worked 12 hours and he had the whole day off, and I hadn’t eaten yet that day. The place was about a five-minute drive away but he asked me to get it delivered instead. It took two hours for the food to get there. I cried because it was Super Bowl Sunday and we had all-you-can-eat/drink packages so I ran around a lot and opened the restaurant that morning, too. I was so tired. I broke up with him two days later."

—u/vglyog

18. "When I begged him not to tell me what happened at the strip club because I knew I'd use that knowledge to torture myself, the first thing he did when he got home was brag about the lap dances he got and how hot those women were compared to me in an attempt to upset me because he wanted attention. It didn't work and I ignored him, so he punched my chair. We had problems before that, but that night killed any respect I had left. Things deteriorated quickly afterward."

"On a bright note, my boyfriend now has never even raised his voice at me. At every opportunity, he tries to make the choice that would make me feel the safest, loved and respected. If your current partner is showing that they don't care about you, leave. There's a better life out there for you. I've never felt luckier than I do now."

—u/Brittakitt

19. "I accidentally broke a glass and stepped on a piece and screamed. He didn't even come into the kitchen, which was right next to our bedroom. Even after I yelled for him to get something to stop the bleeding."

—u/bookandbark

20. "When I had to take a cab home from the emergency room in the middle of the night because he went home to sleep."

21. "When I signed up for Bumble BFF to make friends because we moved to a new city together and he would rather spend every day on Discord with his friends playing video games than doing anything with me."

—u/handmeramen

22. "When I was heavily pregnant and we were arguing. I started feeling pain in the abdomen and collapsed but he just stood there and laughed saying it served me right."

—u/forestgnome1

23. "The one that was an eye-opener was while we were fetching a couple of items from the local store, I got really dizzy and fell on the floor (I had vertigo balance issues at the time). She didn’t even notice and kept on walking around the store. A staff member brought me a chair to sit down, and after a while, I managed to find my balance and went to find her. I told her what happened, and she started shouting defensively. It was over that week. I had to end it."

24. "When I told him I really wanted presents to open on Christmas morning. Nothing extravagant or expensive, just some little gifts to unwrap together. I got him a bunch of funny socks and wrapped each pair individually. He 'gave' me items that we already owned. Like he took a picture frame off of a shelf and wrapped it. I cried and he didn’t understand what the problem was."

—u/BlNGPOT

25. And finally, "When he tripped and fell into his girl best friend’s vagin*."

—u/nextdoorgirl666

If you're a woman, has there ever been a time you realized your ex or current partner never cared about you? If so, tell us the exact moment you realized below.

If you or someone you know is in immediate danger as a result of domestic violence, call 911. For anonymous, confidential help, you can call the 24/7National Domestic Violence Hotlineat 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE) or chat with an advocate via the website.

If you or someone you know has experienced sexual assault, you can call theNational Sexual Assault Hotlineat 1-800-656-HOPE, which routes the caller to their nearest sexual assault service provider. You can also search for your local centerhere.